Marriage used to be treated as one of life’s automatic milestones, something we grew up expecting to do, and that too often without giving a second thought, without question. But in recent years, this scenario seems to have changed a lot. More young people are choosing to delay marriage, avoid it altogether, or walk away from it once they’re in it.Sadhguru, the yogi and founder of the Isha Foundation, weighed in with his wisdom on this, when asked about these situations as published on the official website of the Isha Foundation.When asked about the growing hesitation around marriage and the rising number of divorces, he didn’t offer a simple yes-or-no verdict. Instead, he broke the question fundamentally on what marriage is actually for, and why humans created it in the first place.
Photo: @SadhguruJV/ X
Why does marriage exist in the first place
According to Sadhguru, marriage was never meant to be a rigid rule handed down from tradition. Instead, he explains that it developed as a way to bring structure and stability to a very basic human need, the need to raise children successfully.Unlike animals, which are largely self-sufficient soon after birth, human children remain dependent for years and need more than food and shelter, “You could leave a puppy on the street – as long as it gets food, it grows up into a good dog. But not so with human beings. They need not just physical support but a variety of supports, and above all, a stable situation”, he says.They need consistency, emotional support, and a stable environment to grow into capable adults. Marriage, in his view, evolved as society’s answer to that need.He carefully mentions that this doesn’t mean marriage is mandatory for everyone. According to Sadhguru, choosing not to have children is not a failure, but can actually be beneficial given how large the global population already is. Marriage, in his perspective, is less about social obligation and more about how much a person is ready for a long-term responsibility.
Why are so many young people questioning the institution of marriage
Sadhguru says, “When you were three-four years of age, you were 100% for marriage – your parents’ marriage. When you become 45, 50, again you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35, you are questioning the whole institution.”According to him, this stage of life is heavily influenced by hormonal changes, which can cloud judgment and lead people to question long-standing practices, including marriage itself. He says that most people are far more accepting of marriage as children, when their parents’ marriage is all they know, and again later in life, once emotional intensity settles down.On the topic of divorce specifically, Sadhguru says that both terms should not be talked of together. She specifies that the idea of marriage and divorce should not be viewed as a package deal from the start. According to Sadhguru, “No one thought of divorce in India until recently”. He continued, “If it so happens something went entirely wrong between two people, there is no way to fix it, and they have to separate; it is unfortunate, but it happens. But you do not have to plan it at the time of the wedding!”
So, what actually makes a marriage work
When asked how to choose the right life partner, Sadhguru’s answer is quite simple, and he advises to stop looking for ‘perfection’. According to Sadhguru, “There are many couples who are living beautifully together,” while others fall apart, not because of the traditions of marriage itself, but because of how much space, time, and life two people are forced to share.“One reason why marriage can be tumultuous is that you have to share so many things in this relationship. The issue is neither marriage nor is it about a man and a woman, husband and wife. In any situation where you are forced to share a lot with other people, you will face similar problems.”He emphasises that lasting relationships aren’t built on finding an ideal partner, but on personal integrity, behaving the same way whether or not someone is watching, and being honest about the fact that people enter relationships to meet real needs.According to Sadhguru, the most important aspect is to stop chasing an imaginary “perfect” partner, find someone reasonably compatible, and choose to care for, respect, and take responsibility for them consistently.
