Vijay Deverakonda and Rashmika Mandanna are fans’ favourite romantic couple in town who have time and again set new standards for love.Recently, the couple sat down with Prakhar Gupta on his podcast PGX: Raw & Real, where they gave a rare peek into their married life, detailing adorable nuances about their day-to-day as a couple and how their love blossomed from being co-stars to getting married.The couple, who tied the knot earlier this year in Udaipur, shared the screen for what was their first joint podcast appearance since the wedding.Rashmika spoke about how relationships can lose their warmth once couples get comfortable. People stop doing the small things, she said, because they assume their partner already knows how they feel. Even the little things like good morning messages, asking about each other’s day, and a little affection shouldn’t vanish after marriage, she believes.Vijay agreed and admitted she is more mature than him on this front. His own habit is to assume that strong feelings are obvious, so saying them out loud feels unnecessary.But what stole viewers’ hearts was when Vijay revealed that Rashmika tells him “I love you” at least 10 to 15 times a day, and nudges him to put his own feelings into words.It sounds like a sweet anecdote, but it points to a bigger question: why do people who love each other express it so differently?Let us dig in to find out why do different people express love in their different ways
Is there a “right” love language?
Many of us grew up hearing that every person has one main “love language.” But a 2024 review in Current Directions published in Psychological Science has a different perspective.None of the studies the research examined backed the main claims of the theory’s creator, Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages. The people said all the expressions of love mattered to them. In a SAGE Q&A, Impett, the lead author of the study, said “Love isn’t a language; it’s more like a balanced diet.” That can be associated with Vijay and Rashmika’s love story, as spoken affection is one ingredient, and Rashmika encourages him to add more of it.
Why do some people assume that their partner ” already knows” how much you love them
Vijay’s instinct has a name in psychology. The illusion of transparency, described in a SAGE, is our habit of overestimating how visible our inner feelings are to others and that other people can see transparently through us. But even when looking at whether long-term partners can read each other’s daily feelings and looking through multiple experiments, it was found that even though we assume our partner feels the way we do, it gets in the way, and a feeling that is loud inside us may not reach the other person.
Small gestures also make a big difference
Similarly, Rashmika’s point about asking after someone’s day or saying good morning is her own way of expressing love and keeping the communication going, which keeps the relationship interesting and also helps communicate effectively while also making the partner feel specialSo, all of this brings down to the idea that every person is unique and they have their own way to express affection. Ten to fifteen “I love yous” a day is what works for this couple, not a scientific target.So, it is better to ask what your partner needs right now, and as the research explains, the balanced-diet view tells partners to share what they need at different times and Vijay and Rashmika seem to be doing just that.
