For parents, giving a child a phone is rarely just about giving them a device. It also means giving them access to videos, games, social media, strangers, misinformation and content they may not yet know how to process. Actor Shilpa Shetty spoke about this balance on the occasion of Safer Internet Day in February this year, asking parents to look beyond simply restricting screen time.In a video shared on Instagram, she said she was speaking “not as a public figure, but as a concerned mother” and urged parents to have more open conversations about what children do online. “The Internet is a powerful teacher, a playground for creativity,” Shilpa said. “So with the pros comes the cons, and we must be aware of them.”
28 Jul 2026 | 16:22
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“It can also expose young minds to things that they’re not ready for. And as parents, our role isn’t to just simply ban technology. It’s to balance the access and exposure to it.” That balance, however, can be difficult.Parents want to protect their children, but children increasingly use the internet for schoolwork, entertainment, friendships and discovering the world around them. Taking the phone away may stop one problem temporarily, but it does not teach a child what to do when something disturbing appears on the screen.Shilpa’s advice starts with knowing what a child is consuming. “Know what your child is watching, scrolling, consuming,” she said. She also stressed the importance of talking instead of relying entirely on restrictions. “Curiosity grows in silence, not in conversation,” she said in the video.
“Supervision till 16, I believe, isn’t control. It’s care”
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The most striking part of Shilpa’s message was her view on parental supervision. “Please use parental controls. But more importantly, build trust,” she said. “Supervision till 16, I believe, isn’t control. It’s care.” The statement raises an important question for parents: what should supervision actually look like?There is a difference between knowing what platforms a child uses and secretly reading every private conversation. There is also a difference between setting age-appropriate restrictions and monitoring a child so closely that they stop feeling trusted. Good digital supervision should ideally change as the child grows.A 10-year-old may need parents to decide which apps are appropriate. A 13-year-old may need help understanding privacy, online friendships and inappropriate content. A 15-year-old may need more independence, but still needs to know that a parent is available when something goes wrong. The aim should be to gradually transfer responsibility to the child rather than suddenly handing over complete freedom.
Don’t wait for the first online crisis to have the conversation
One practical mistake parents can make is talking about internet safety only after something happens. A child sees an inappropriate video. Someone sends a disturbing message. A stranger asks for a photograph. A friend shares a private image. Only then does the parent sit down for a serious conversation. By that point, the child may already be frightened about telling them.Instead, parents can have small, ordinary conversations long before there is a problem. Ask what they watched today. Which creator do they like? What games are they playing? What do their friends discuss online?
Teach children what to do when something goes wrong
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Internet safety is not just about preventing children from seeing harmful content. It is also about preparing them for the moment they inevitably encounter something they were not expecting. Parents can teach a simple three-step response: Stop. Don’t respond. Tell an adult. If someone online makes a child uncomfortable, asks for personal information, sends inappropriate material or pressures them to keep a conversation secret, the child should know they can leave the conversation and tell a trusted adult. Most importantly, parents should make one thing clear that telling the truth will not automatically result in the phone being taken away.
Parental controls are useful, but they cannot replace parenting
Shilpa also urged parents to use parental controls. These tools can help parents manage age restrictions, purchases, screen time and access to certain content. But a parental-control setting cannot teach a child why a stranger asking for their school name is a red flag. It cannot explain why a viral video may be edited or false. And it cannot help a teenager deal with cyberbullying.That is why technology controls work best when paired with conversations. Parents can even involve older children in setting the rules. Instead of simply announcing, “You get one hour of screen time,” discuss when the phone can be used, which apps are allowed and what happens if a rule is broken. When children understand the reason behind a rule, they are more likely to follow it.
One rule parents should avoid
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Trust does not mean giving children unlimited privacy at every age. But constant surveillance can also backfire. If a teenager knows that every message, search and photograph may be checked without warning, they may become better at hiding things rather than better at making safe choices. A healthier approach is to establish expectations in advance. Parents can tell children: “Your privacy matters, but your safety matters more. If I become worried about something serious, I may need to step in. I will tell you rather than secretly monitoring you.”That keeps the door open for intervention while respecting the child’s growing independence.
Teach children one important internet rule
Shilpa said, “Teach them that not everything online is real, kind, or even safe.” That lesson covers much more than fake news. Children need to understand that people may present an edited version of their lives online. Influencers may be paid to promote products. Videos can be manipulated. Strangers may pretend to be someone else. A large number of followers does not make a person trustworthy. For teenagers especially, this can become a regular family conversation rather than a one-time lecture.Shilpa ended her message by saying she does not have all the answers but wants to “start a real conversation”. She also urged parents to stop “parenting in isolation” and work towards raising “digitally aware and not digitally addicted children”. The goal cannot realistically be to keep children away from the internet. They will eventually use it for education, work, friendships and everyday life. The more useful goal is to raise a child who knows when to put the phone down, when to question what they see, when to block someone, when to ask for help and when an online interaction has crossed a line.
